This hot cup of apple cinnamon tea is healing all my aches and pains right now.
The robbery still haunts me.
Not as constantly, but it’s still there. Luckily life has taken over, and did the week before we left for the wedding (in the name of stress due to location/weather/rental issues I will get to later) so I was able to at least worry and dote over other random unecessary thoughts. I tend to worry a lot, and a lot of times about things out of my control.
I lock the door behind me every time now - doesn’t matter if I’m going to go back outside in just a second. I look behind me more than a normal person should. I jump at the sound of shuffling shoes, or the crunch of leaves. I get nervous around people who share the sidewalk with me. I remember once being inspired by those strangers.
This morning was the second day I have walked to the bus stop by myself (Nathan walked me every day up to our vacation). I take a different route now. I carry my little pink sidekick with my thumb on the trigger until I get on the bus. I look up and down the sidewalk for other people that might be walking around, going to their cars, or hanging out. I am just as safe if not safer than I used to be. Today I noticed a figure at the other end of the block. I really couldn’t tell if they were male, female, or which direction they were even walking. So I crossed the street and walked 4 houses up to my corner where I turn to reach the main street I now walk. As I am turning the corner, I swear I see this figure again …a black flash…running in front of my house.
I think…
This person got their too fast. Why are they running? They are running for me.
And, I start running.
Get to Western.
Get to Western.
Click Mace to on.
Get to Western.
Don’t look behind you.
Get to Western.
And, finally I am Western. I look behind me and no one is there.
There is no one behind me the rest of my walk to the bus stop.
I know I didn’t imagine this. And, maybe they were just running. I don’t know anyone who runs on our street that early in the morning though (if there are runners they usually run on Western). And, maybe they ran the other direction. But maybe they were “scouting” out our street for people to rob just as this last guy did. And, how coincidental would it be that two people in a month would stake out my street and rob me?
Point is…
I’m still affected.
Did I mention we found the robber?
Yes. I can’t remember if I wrote about that. They arrested him the night he robbed me - 3 people IDed him through photo line-up that he robbed them the morning of the 19th on my block - me, a deaf man, and a cab driver. We are all going to prosecute, but in order to do so I have to do a person line-up ID. Ugh.
Closure.
You might have a bit of PTSD from the robbery. It’s not uncommon but you should think about seeing someone who can help you with behavioral therapies to control your anxiety. I had to do it for my massive fear of flying and it helped.
Thanks Ashley. Where do you look for something like that? Just online? Oh…I could call advocate too. They work with our insurance to find doctors for us in our network.
That’s how I found mine- through my insurance. I think it could really help!
Ashley, thank you for bringing this up. I too have thought we should look into finding someone for Carey to talk to. This is something that, gone unchecked, could quietly force Carey into an ‘unreasonable’ fear of the world an I love her too much to have her life be controlled by this.
It’s good to know that others have done so.